


How The Beach Changed

by winterlover



Category: Alles was zählt
Genre: Angst, Grief, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-04
Updated: 2011-12-04
Packaged: 2017-10-26 22:09:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterlover/pseuds/winterlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only the future will show who the person is who returns today.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How The Beach Changed

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own any of those characters. They belong to RTL.  
> Thanks to amo-amas-amat for being my beta.

 

When I returned to the beach it felt like coming home. Even the hollow in the sand was still waiting for me. The wind hadn’t completely destroyed the remains of our stay.  
I had found the fast-food-stall earlier, and sitting in the familiar spot I tasted what you had: the biggest burger ever.

The seagulls and the sea all sounded the same as the last time. When I closed my eyes I still saw you out there, wading through the surf.

I kept my eyes shut for hours, for days? I tasted the salty air as I recalled every minute that we spent here – I recounted everything we had said, again and again. I learned it by heart, repeated it, until it was burnt into my mind.

When I finally slept I had a nightmare: I was standing at the edge of the water, watching you out there, between the waves, slowly moving away. “COME BACK!” I was screaming, but you didn’t hear me. You were melting into the green-grey horizon…  
“Come back!” Suddenly I heard Florian calling.  
When I woke up I dreaded the thought of returning to Essen.

One morning I called my dad – he didn’t ask how I was, he just said _thank you for letting me know where you are_.

One evening I finally knew I wouldn’t ever forget anything.  
Then I locked my heart. Keeping every memory of our last days in, barring the other feelings out.

In the middle of one night I woke up, shivering and freezing. It was colder than when I had been with you – at the time I had thought that it had been _me_ who’d been keeping _you_ warm.

The last day was different: bright and sunny, giving the dunes an unfamiliar glow and strange, real-life-colours, leaving the water almost still.  
There was nothing to fight against anymore: no wind, no cold, no despair.  
I wasn’t able to bear that.

I took the same roads home as we had the last time, except that it had been noon then and now the last rays of sunlight were disappearing behind the trees. I hoped to be able to sneak into the dark apartment, make my way to the bed and feel nothing but tired.

 

Instead I stand in the brightly-lit hallway, in front of the apartment-door, facing the sign on the doorbell!

I rip it off.

I can’t bear seeing the names of the two who don’t live here anymore.


End file.
